My youngest, my baby, turned 4 this week! Labor with him was the exact opposite of labor with my oldest, now 7. Funny how the boy's birthday makes me think about things. Woulda, shoulda, coulda....
How far back should my weight gain actually go? Aside from having children, I'd have to say that after graduating college I started to put on some weight. While in nursing school, I used to go for runs and go to the gym to procrastinate. I hated nursing school! I also really didn't know if I wanted to be a nurse. So I got thinner. Best description would be "stuck up barbie bitch", which I was actually called by someone once (long story for another day!), and I kinda took pride in that name when I was out at a certain bar.
But I digress. So by the time I started dating my husband, I had gained about 15-20 pounds since college. We soon got pregnant, and after having our oldest, I didn't lose the weight. I was a first time mother and really didn't know how to do it. We couldn't afford a gym, we had a house and a baby!
Fast forward to 2007. Another baby and more weight gain. I now had 2 kids, a husband, as well as a stepson that lived with us. While pregnant I had started at my current job. I still didn't know how to get myself to lose the weight. I was also having issues with psoriasis, migraines (which I'd never had before!), back pain, anxiety and depression. I had also been diagnosed with gestational diabetes during the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I was over the range by one point. ONE freaking point!
And here I am today. If I had known what kind of support I could find in the blogging community and other social media, I WOULDA started my journey to health a lot sooner. I SHOULDA sought out more options and talked to more people. I COULDA been healthier by now!
But as they say, hindsight is always 20/20. I'm moving forward. I'm stronger now and motivated and determined to see this to the end. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, family and friends. My kids are so impressed by what I can do, even if I really can't do what I'd like to. But I'm also on this journey for them. I don't want my kids to think it's ok to be unhealthy when it's all preventable. And I want them to understand success. That even Mommy has to work for things to get what I want.
No more woulda's, shoulda's, coulda's... it's all I can and I did from now on.
|Me and my boys Memorial Day Race 2011|