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Thursday, August 23, 2012

It's not easy

My boys surprised me this week. Each day when I pick them up from daycare, they ask if I'll be going to the gym. It never occurred to me that my time could become a routine and part of their schedule.
Previously, I was beating myself up, calling myself a "mommy martyr", thinking I needed to spend every precious moment with my family. Turns out, they are just fine without me.  Even my husband has told me to spend as long as I need.

As I spend my time at the gym, I will notice that I'm the only woman there with a bunch of men.  Where is everyone else? Have they been here and done their time during "normal" hours? Well, I've rarely been called normal.

It sounds so easy... "Bye kids! Mommy's going to the gym! Love you!" But it's not easy. In my own head I'm still struggling. I have a wonderful, make that beyond wonderful husband, who is encouraging me to get back to healthiness and my own happiness. And I know I'm rather hard on myself. I spend so much time looking forward - the 10K next week, the 10 miler, training sessions - I forget to live in the now. I forget that what I do today shapes what I am able to do later. I can make goals, but I can't worry about them. I have to work day by day to achieving them. And it's still not going to be easy. I just believe it'll be worth it.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Listening

I've been going to the gym pretty diligently since joining. My personal training sessions have been great and I've even noticed some changes in my body.  I was able to put on a pair of jeans a size smaller and they weren't tight!  But I'm also learning how to better listen to my body.

I wish I could work out every day. I am one of those who can get lost in the gym if I'm not bored. I could easily bike for an hour or be on the treadmill for miles or use the weight machines for rep upon rep until my muscles are fatigued. No one's watching me and wondering what I'm going to do next. None of my kids are asking me a million questions.  Phones aren't ringing, dogs aren't barking... it's just me and my thoughts and focus.

And it's because of my kids and other commitments that I can't spend all those hours in the gym. It's also because of the one thing that I need to be listening to more than anything, my own body.  I took two days off in a row this week because I was too tired to go to the gym at 8pm.  The days off paid off because I was able to get better workouts in and burn more calories when I did work out.  I know that resting my body also was a mental rest as well.  There are times when I think too much while working out.  I look at my HRM to make sure my heart isn't beating too fast.  I watch my feet to make sure that I'm using the right foot plant.

I know when I am working out, I need to listen to my body.  I can tell when my heart rate is climbing, when it's becoming more difficult to breathe.  And sometimes things hurt and I just have to stop so that I don't re-injure myself.

Fear of another injury was the big drive behind my decision this week to not try the 2nd 10 Miler I wanted to do.  It's only 2 weeks after the first one I have on Sunday Oct 7th.  It sounds like a long time, but it really isn't.  A friend of mine was my "voice of reason" as she put it.  Sounds like fun, but I just don't want to risk it.  and there's always next year!

My goal for the coming week is to have one workout where I just go and not worry about the calorie burn, or the other devices.  I want to just go workout and be able to listen to what my body is telling me.

What is your body saying to you?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Body Blast 3, 4, & 5

I'll try not to make this a super super long post, but I have some catching up to do!  Life has been super busy  since last week.

Body Blast class 3 was kettle bells. I knew I'd get a workout, especially from Tanya.  She doesn't fool around.  We did everything with the kettle bells -- swings, squats, abs, rows, lunges... I feel comfortable now using the kettle bells that I have at home, though I will definitely have to work much more on my form.  My back was sore for a few days after.  Side steps while swinging the kettle bell was not pretty. I need to work on coordination!  That night I burned 303 calories. Remember that this class is only 30 minutes long. I was ecstatic!

Body Blast class 4 was circuit work.  We used the TRX suspensions, gym ropes, kettle bells and the 4th station was different depending on the cycle we were on.  It was my first time using the TRX and I was a little unsure of myself.  Having done pole dancing/fitness, I wasn't completely confident that they could support my weight.  But of course, I was fine.  Throughout the workout, Tanya had us doing jumps, lunges, reaches, burpees, planks and more.  My memory is a bit fuzzy as it was a week ago that we had that 4th class.  I forgot my HRM for this class and don't know what my total calorie burn was, but I know I was pouring sweat and tired.

Our last Body Blast class was on Saturday morning at 9am.  It was kickboxing, and again, it wasn't easy.  I've done kickboxing moves before, but not in succession like we were doing.  Punching was much easier than kicking.  Balance was not in my favor that day.  I thought I had good balance, but I now know it's something I will definitely need to work on.  And the coordination aspect of punching and kicking.  I had to say the moves out loud so I'd know what I was supposed to be doing!  "Cross punch, upper cut, round house"... I sure needed to focus!  This wasn't my favorite, only because it wasn't easy for me.  I know easy doesn't get results though!

Would I do Body Blast again?  Absolutely!  Rumor has it there will be a class the last full week of August.  Maybe some more people will join this time!!

I made a big decision after taking these classes.  I decided I need to have some personal training sessions for at least a month, before the 10K on September 1st.  I like having the quicker, intense workouts and I don't think that I'll get to my goal on my own, at least at this point.  Sure I can go to the gym and hop on the treadmill, the bike, the elliptical, do some weight machines... but I know I need more than that to push myself to do better. And I'm still learning.

It's hard for me to remember that point, that I'm learning.  A person doesn't get to be unhealthy and out of shape without learning a few bad habits.  I'm slowly learning what my body is capable of and how to get back to healthy.

Next up, more focus on adding mileage to finish my 10K faster than last year and some sessions with none other than Tanya :)