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Thursday, August 23, 2012

It's not easy

My boys surprised me this week. Each day when I pick them up from daycare, they ask if I'll be going to the gym. It never occurred to me that my time could become a routine and part of their schedule.
Previously, I was beating myself up, calling myself a "mommy martyr", thinking I needed to spend every precious moment with my family. Turns out, they are just fine without me.  Even my husband has told me to spend as long as I need.

As I spend my time at the gym, I will notice that I'm the only woman there with a bunch of men.  Where is everyone else? Have they been here and done their time during "normal" hours? Well, I've rarely been called normal.

It sounds so easy... "Bye kids! Mommy's going to the gym! Love you!" But it's not easy. In my own head I'm still struggling. I have a wonderful, make that beyond wonderful husband, who is encouraging me to get back to healthiness and my own happiness. And I know I'm rather hard on myself. I spend so much time looking forward - the 10K next week, the 10 miler, training sessions - I forget to live in the now. I forget that what I do today shapes what I am able to do later. I can make goals, but I can't worry about them. I have to work day by day to achieving them. And it's still not going to be easy. I just believe it'll be worth it.

3 comments:

  1. It will all be worth it, when you are still able to run around with your grand babies..

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  2. Replies
    1. I'll be running the TC 10 Miler during TC Marathon weekend.

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