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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Dear Failure?

Right now, there are so many people I know who feel like they've failed. Let me ask you this: would you want to receive a letter with the greeting "Dear Failure"?  Yeah, I didn't think so.

So why are you beating yourself up? Why are you so stuck on staying in this rut?  What changed that you stopped going after your goals?  You know how you can be encouraging to so many others... find that in YOURSELF.  Find that fire inside you.  Find that feeling you get when you finish that mile, that workout, that race, that set of burpees... that high that makes you feel unstoppable!!

We've started Body Blast again and one of the newer girls to the gym was saying that she thinks she's going to die before the end of the week.  I tried to tell her not to give up, that we've been doing the class a long time and we can guess what type of workouts we'll be getting.  I told her about the progress I've made since joining the gym.  I'm hoping that she's less discouraged and knows that all she has to do it try.

If you're feeling discouraged, you're allowed to feel that way. just don't let it be all that you're feeling.  Relook at your goals, ask yourself why you started in the first place and NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

                                     YOU GOT THIS!!!!!!!!
If you need another pep talk, let me know.  You know that saying, "That negative voice inside your head is a liar."  I need just as many cheerleaders in my corner to keep me going.

(In case you wondered, I just got done reading The Perfect Game by J. Sterling and I've started reading Turning Point by Tiffany A. Snow which I received an advanced copy of.  I've also been listening to a lot of Swedish House Mafia, Kelly Clarkson, Eminem, and Nelly. I'm hoping next post to include a playlist of songs that I've worked out to during the week.)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

What's the rush?

Life as a mom, there are so many days when it's RUSHRUSHRUSH to get everything done, and yet there's always something that gets forgotten.  I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.  Here's what a busy weekday for me looks like:

  • Wake up after hubby has already left for work. Go get boys out of bed, usually taking a good amount of cajoling for about 5 mins.  Eventually get everyone dressed and out of the house, drop boys off at daycare, get to work.
  • Eat breakfast, drink coffee throughout morning and eat lunch and work eight hour day.
  • Leave work, pick up boys from daycare unless hubby has been able to work eight hours, listen to lots of questions, say no a bunch of times.
  • Let dog out and feed him and make dinner waiting for hubby to get home.  Some days I'm making a dinner for the family and one for myself.  Dishes, laundry, that whole bit.
  • Get to gym, sometimes by 6:30. but usually later unless meeting trainer at 7pm each Wednesday.  Work out.  Leave gym anywhere from 8:30-9:00, depending on when I got there.  Hubby has put kids to bed.
  • Get home, shower, read book or watch tv usually have a post-workout snack. Usually I'm asleep by Midnight.
Phew! Compared to some moms, this isn't much at all. But when I'm busy, I'm busy and it seems like so much work to get to the gym or make a healthy meal for myself.  I try to do some meal planning and I also have my rest days from the gym.  For the most part, I know we are a busy family.

I've also learned to appreciate this busyness and what I've figured out is that even though I think I'm rushing so much, am I really?

Lately, I've been blowing through soo many books on my Kindle!  There was even a day that I rushed to the gym so that I could even finish reading Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire.  I was at the end of the book and just had to finish it, but also needed to get to the gym!  An hour later on the stationary bike and I was done!!  (I'm also in love with Travis Maddox btw and can't wait for Walking Disaster from his point of view!) Some of the other books I've done this with are:
  • Thoughtless and Effortless by S.C. Stephens
  • The Secret of Ella and Micha by Jessica Sorensen
  • Rock Stars Do It series by Jasinda Wilder (she's one of my absolute fave authors!)
  • Easy by Tammara Webber
  • Where I Need to Be by Kimberly Knight
I think I've been reading a book about every other day, if not going through a book a day.  I'll get to the gym, plug in the music so I can focus and just read and read.  I can do this on the treadmill between running, on the bike and also the stair climber.

And the maybe not so crazy thing is that I don't feel guilty when I'm rushing to the gym to do some exercise and read my books.  Yes, I have to stop when I'm lifting weights or running, but I'm happy with my gym routine. And that's because I've fit it in.  I used to have the excuse that I didn't have time for the gym or workouts, but that was really a crappy excuse.  I had time to spend dinking around on the computer or watching tv.  I wish I didn't have to go to the gym so much later in the day, but it works for me!  I spend time with my kids and they also get a little bit of "Daddy time" while I'm gone.

So am I really rushing?  Even though I feel like it, I realize, I'm not overly stressed out.  I have moments of course, but overall, I am enjoying life and I have such a good attitude compared to a couple years ago.  For those that feel like they're rushing all the time, ask yourself why you feel that way.  Is it something that you can change?  Do you need to tweak something, make a compromise with someone?  And also realize, that you aren't alone in how you're feeling.  You may be rushing for a completely different reason than the next person AND THAT'S OKAY!  But remember to slow down every once in a while so the little things in life don't pass you by.  Unless you're rushing to get to the end of the book cuz I always have to know the ending.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Fire in my belly - an honest post

My week started off with so many amazing things, and then something happened yesterday that made me feel like I just took two steps back.  Something that seemed like it might be a setback in reaching my goals.

So what do you do with emotions?  Grab a candy bar and soda (pop) from the vending machine?

I let it out with a few friends and I talked with my trainer.  And I was mad.  But my anger made me think of a passage in one of my fave books.
"You feel that rage inside? Burning hot in the pit of your stomach?"... "That's what's going to keep you alive, " he said. "Hold on to it. Fear will only sign your death warrant.  Stay mad, princess."  [Turn to Me, by Tiffany A. Snow]

So what am I taking from that passage? I'm staying mad.  I'm not going to let it occupy my happiness and I'm not going to be a complete bitch for the next however long.  But what I am going to do is not be afraid.  I am going to step up to the challenge and maybe I need to turn the other cheek so that life goes on.  I'm going to work hard and I'm going to get this weight off. 

I'm tired of every crappy thing that comes across my path and wants to be a road block.  I've struggled with so much my whole life, from being one of the only non-white families in a small town and having to overcome racism, to being incredibly awkward while growing up because I didn't wear the right clothes or like the "cool' things, to being the woman in college that other women hated and called names because the guys didn't talk to them but to me, to still being the fat girl in the family!!  I'm so tired of dealing with all that crap.  And this new roadblock, I'm already tired of it and it's bullshit.  So yeah, I'm mad.  I'm fucking furious!!!  This is real.  This is my life and I am going to work hard because my goals are MY goals and I'll be putting in the blood, sweat and tears.

If you want to get in my way, be ready.  Be ready for a fight.  I haven't given up.  This isn't a game to me.  I'm not taking the easy way out.  I will meet every challenge and launch myself over it and in the end, I'll be the one standing up on my own two feet.  And I'll put out my own fire when I find myself there.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

13 Races in 2013

13 in 2013 means so many things right now.  So much that I want to really accomplish.  And so much centered around turning 35.  Yes, it's just a number, and yes, it's just another year.  But to me, it means so much to my happiness and being able to declare - to myself - that this is what I wanted to do before turning 35 years old.  My husband calls it my 35 list, much like a bucket list.  I don't have everything on this list written down.  It's more or less something I keep in the back of my head.  But what I have written down, is my 13 races for this year.

There is one race that I haven't quite decided if I can't afford to do this year, and that's the Ragnar Relay.  At this point, it's more a no than a yes.  Besides cost, there's the whole "finding a team" thing to consider.  The team I thought I was going to be on didn't quite work out.  But, there's still time to count this race since it isn't until Aug 16th.

Here is my list:

  1. January 31st -- Sandy Hook ElementaryVirtual Race.  I don't have to explain this one.  I missed the bib and the medal, but I won't miss my chance to do my little bit.
  2. March 16th -- Get Lucky 7K. This will be my 3rd year running this. I'm really determined to beat my times from the last two years! I know I can!  And I like the Team Ortho events.
  3. March 24th -- Irish Run Saint Paul 8K. I've never run this race, but a coworker is trying to form a corporate team. Sounds like fun and the cost is right! 
  4. April 21st -- Challenge Obesity 5K. This will be my 3rd year running this one too. I love this organization who puts on these Challenge events. Gary is very inspiring and always says hi to me. The name of the race says it all, for why I will keep participating for years to come.
  5. May 27th -- Challenge Hearts and Minds 5K. Yes, another from Charities Challenge. What can I say?
  6. June 22nd -- Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon. This is my big race that I'm looking forward to. I'll be that person who runs a half marathon on her 35th birthday (who does that???)!  My goal of 13.1 in 2013!  But... I need to get in first.  It's a lottery.  Wish me luck!!  My first half marathon and I'm pretty dang excited about it!
  7. July 14th -- The Color Run. My 2nd year doing this one, but this time it'll be with Sarah who I'll get to finally meet in real life when she comes to visit Minnesota!  You could say she's my Indiana bestie.  We met through the Fat to Fit Pack and she is also on her own healthiness journey.
  8. August 24th -- Challenge Arthritis 5K. And yes, another Challenge race.  But this one is more personal to me, and for those I know who were diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.
  9. August 31st -- Women Rock 10K.  I ran this race last year, and the course was really nice and scenic along the Mississippi River in Saint Paul.  I'm hoping to beat my time last year, and that there isn't a shin splint during the first mile again.
  10. September 7th -- Warrior Dash. My 3rd time as a Warrior. I really like this course much better than the one in June.  It was still a lot of work, but it wasn't 100 degrees out!  And maybe it was just the good company of Jesse, Angie, and Bill last year. :)  This year, the hubby is going to do it with me!  Well, hopefully he'll stay by my side. 
  11. October 6th -- Medtronic TC 10 Miler. Lottery dependent. I will likely run the Medtronic TC 1 Mile to try and get a guaranteed entry into the 10 Miler.  And again, I want to beat my time from last year. 
  12. October 26th -- Monster Dash Half Marathon. I've been wanting to do this race for quite some time. I may just end up doing the 10 Miler instead of the Half, but I'll have to see how training and races go this year.  Another Team Ortho event.
  13. November 10th -- Veterans Day 5K. Yet again, another Charities Challenge race. The reason I run this one is also quite obvious.  I stand behind our military and not just as a military wife.

One wonderful thing that happened the other day as I was Facebooking about my races and the costs, was that my friend Shaun "sponsored" me for a couple races.  Totally unexpected and most definitely appreciated!  What had happened is I was joking that I needed a commercial sponsor so that I could afford all the races.  He said it's his "pay it forward" so that I can reach my goal for this year.  I'm touched, and feel quite blessed with all the support all my friends have given me along this journey.  So thank you Shaun, and thank you to all of you supporting me.

I'd love to know if you'll be at any of the races too!  These races could change at any point of course and I'll try and update as I am able.  I'll be doing my best to blog along the way!